Thursday, January 15, 2015

Mature Meaning

Maturity...What does it mean? The act of being mature? Here's Merriam-Webster and their definition


So we can have more than one definition.  One is showing the mental and emotional qualities of an adult while the other is fully grown physically.  So which one fits better to the typical person?

Obviously, most humans mature physically and their bodies fully grow.  However, I'm not sure too many grow mentally or emotionally.  I think the first definition is more the definition I'm looking for.

Early Life
I had to grow up pretty young.  Due to family issues I had to be an emotional sounding board and it was difficult.  It required me to think more deeply about mankind and the nature of what it means to be human.  

Granted, nothing in my life was traumatizing compared to others' lives.  I would be naive to think that my circumstances alone caused me to mature early on.  Instead, I'm sure it has some to do with my DNA.  But I don't want to exclude environmental causes.

Growing up a little earlier, caused me a lot of grief early on in my life up through High School.  I was trying to always do well for my parents, trying to not get in trouble.  This meant I took very few risks early on.  I never did crazy, childish things.  Instead, I read the bible, focused on what was right and in return I was rejected.

I played baseball my whole life and I loved it.  It was a passion of mine.  I always strove to get better and better.  Perfecting my arm, at bat stance, and running techniques.  However, I had few friends on the baseball team.  And even now, I can't say I'm in contact with any of my teammates from high school (or even college teammates for that matter).  

Baseball is a highly team-oriented sport.  However, I didn't like to drink heavily or go to strip clubs or huge parties.  It was out of my realm of comfort.  I was a christian man, scared of the outside world.  For that reason, I was somewhat secluded from them, almost an outsider; many times a source of jokes.  But I was good.

Satisfaction?
So did doing what was right satisfy me?  Well that's an interesting question...

Doing what was right is what helped me get a good job, complete my degree, achieve respect from my colleagues, excel in almost everything I did.  I achieved most everything I desired in a physical sense.  However, I have done a lot of this alone.  I have had friends, but I have always FELT alone.  I'm not necessarily better than anyone else but I think subconsciously I thought i was.  And it has caused me grief in relationships. 

So was I satisfied?  I was moving so fast, but carefully, that I believed I was satisfied.  I achieved what I desired but after it was all said and done, my satisfaction disappeared.  Why?  Shouldn't I be happy that I was good, did things right, made few mistakes, and achieved my goals?  Or was it the pursuit of the goals that made me happy?

That's where I'm unsure...In my "maturity" I have missed out on a lot of simple life experiences.  Now I have a son and I do not have the luxury to just party hard and have them now.  I have to be a responsible adult.  I have no "Story of Recovery."  Or any "Prodigal Son" moments.  Things have been relatively boring.  But they were right...is that an oxymoron?

So if being mature didn't make me happy, is it because I did not have the experiences immature people have?  Or is it deeper than this?  I guess that's the next question to ask.  I'd hate to become immature and realize I'm not happy there either...

Choices, choices...

I will attempt to define maturity more clearly in a subsequent post...my bad


Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Start of a New Age

It is only fitting to start this new blog off with some words about WHY I'm writing a blog.  Because why write a blog without purpose?  If there is not purpose, then it'll die quickly and I want this to last.

So let's be clear, I'm not aiming for notoriety.  I'm not looking to be famous or praised for my high philosophical ideals.  Instead, I'm looking to get a handle on my life.  This blog will serve as a Treatise For Happiness, a baseline and measure of my source of satisfaction while wandering this world.

Let's face it; everyone struggles in life.  Whether it be our continued pursuit of happiness, or our ever-expanding goal for success, we never seem to find that perfect balance in life on all fronts.  Sure, some find satisfaction in theology, but sometimes miss out on adventure.  Some find happiness in their health, but miss out on meaningful community and relationships.  Some people are highly social, but miss out on the beauty of success.  And yet I've never met anyone who has balanced all aspects of life: Work, Family, Body, Spirit, and Mind.

There are about 350 ways to describe balance in life (btw, that number is completely made up).  I describe it by the 5 categories above.  Each has a place in our lives and must be balanced, although balance may not be equality in terms of time or effort.  This is what I hope to find by journal-ling this adventure.  I hope to see all these things come to a place of balance where I'm at peace with life;  A place where I can be satisfied when I wake up and know I have accomplished the things I desired while still making enough of an impact on the world.

 So as I develop this treatise, I hope to find people along side me.  I hope to provide some knowledge (or even better be given knowledge) that can be passed down through the ages.  All mankind has something to offer in life.  Hopefully, we can come together to determine the real meanings of the words Truth, Love, Hope, and Faith.